This – this – is why “self care” is so hard for women.
We’re consumed with everyone else’s sh…stuff.
This article resonated so deeply… what I feel myself, what I hear from my friends, clients… all the conversations I’ve had with mothers about the invisible stuff — the stuff that’s just in our head that no one even realizes because we take care of it.
That’s what we are — we’re the keepers.
And I’m talking about moms, yes, because today happens to be Mothers Day, but even if you’re not a mom, if you’re a woman, you are cursed (a-hem, I mean blessed) with this too.
Us women, we’re wired to be keepers. We’re detail oriented, and we have this innate urge to take care of people. To make sure everyone around us is comfortable, happy.
We can’t help it, it’s in our DNA.
It’s why we do things like make multiple dinners, or let him pick the restaurant, or carry 5 days worth of snacks in our purse, or forego that massage for weeks because there’s just so much going on….
But that’s what we’re supposed to do, right?
How many times have you heard someone say, “she’s so selfless”…?
Like it’s an award.
Yes, we are women, and we are wired to give. And that is part of how our feminine energy brings balance to the world, makes it a better place, and yada yada yada….
At the same time…. We gotta be aware of that wiring.
It means the default is to give — to be selfless.
Which means we have to make a conscious effort to also do the opposite.
Yep, that’s what I’m saying — Be selfish.
Book the damn massage.
You choose the restaurant.
Say this is what’s dinner and if you don’t like it here’s a banana.
Because being selfish, sometimes is being selfless.
Sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for your people.
P.S. Do you need some help figuring out how to be selfish without feeling selfish? This is one of the most important things we work on in one-on-one health coaching. Grab a spot to chat with me here.